Never Mind

This is a translation of some parts of the website into plain English.

Please note that neither Marketing language nor English is my native
tounge – so, this translation might contain some errors. However, I tried
my best and I think that the main points are translated correctly.

The Dart Language

From quick prototypes to serious apps

Dart’s optional types let you prototype quickly and then
revise your code to be more maintainable.

With Dart, your management will force you to directly patch prototypes
into products. Yes, they try to do this already (“hey, this nearly works
– just fix the last bugs and ship it”), but with dart you won’t have
any of the usual excuses to prevent the insane. Say goodbye to this:

“We would love to ship it right away, but the prototype is written
for the Plan 9 shell, and we only have Debian on the servers.
I’m sorry, but we will have to rewrite it in Python *faked sigh*”

And say hello to this:

“What? Ship it now? Like, right away? Ship the prototype? Pardon?
Yeah, it would be possible, I guess… Yes. Yes, sir, I’m working on it.
*real sigh*”

You can use the same Dart code in most modern web browsers
(Chrome, Safari 5+, Firefox 4+) and on servers.
Look for more browser support shortly.

Until now, you were fixing your javascript code to work in IE. Maybe,
sometimes, you reported a bug to the jQuery guys. They figured out the rest.

Well, good luck with fixing a whole language to work in IE. With your
rusty skills you won’t make it too far. Sucker.

Familiar yet new

Dart code should look familiar if you know a language or two, and
you can use time-tested features such as classes and closures. Dart’s
new features make it easier for you to develop and maintain software.
Dart is still in the early stages of development, so please take a look
and tell us what you think.

Obsolete yet buggy

Dart code looks familiar to your manager. It’s the same crappy enterprise
Java stuff he wrote when he was young and was “hacking along, just like you”.

Your eyes will bleed.

Despite Dart being really not an ambitious programming language, we couldn’t
figure out some implementation issues. But hey, don’t worry, bugs will only be
triggered by some edge-case stuff like adding really big numbers and such.
Additionally, you will be an expert in Dart’s internals anyway – you spent
months debugging it in order to get it to work with IE, remember?

Key features of the Dart language include:


Classes and interfaces provide a well understood mechanism for efficiently
defining APIs. These constructs enable encapsulation and reuse of methods and data.

We couldn’t wrap our heads around this “prototype” stuff in javascript. Yeah, that is
supposed to be just a different kind of OOP or something, but come on:
For simple people like us – what’s OOP without classes? And without interfaces?

That’s the OOP we know. That’s the shit we understand.

Look, we even quoted Wikipedia.

Design Goals

Make Dart appropriate for the full range of devices on the web – including phones,
tablets, laptops, and servers.

We do not understand the web.

Like, we do not understand it at all.

But we sure know Java.

Get involved

Join us, let’s spoil the web.

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